26 June 2012
The soapbox regularly gets me into trouble with one or more Napier
residents and every morning when I open up my mail box I anticipate
something akin to hate mail. I haven’t received anything
quite as virulent as that yet - “strongly worded”
at most - and perhaps in a way I’m almost a little disappointed.
“Why?” - you may ask! Well, firstly, because that
would mean that at least someone is reading the Natter, and secondly
and most importantly, the Soapbox is touching a raw nerve or two-always
a good thing me thinks! So here we go…again. The good news
this week is that Napier has no crime and policing problems! This
became evident last Tuesday evening when only 4 people (two of
whom were a couple) pitched up at the meeting at the community
hall arranged by the police to discuss crime and policing issues
and to receive feedback and suggestions from the public. Oh, I
can almost hear the cry of “But I did not know about the
meeting!” A special Natter was sent out, posters were put
up at the public points, like the OK – and the usual load-speaker
mounted on a police vehicle did the rounds, advertising the fact.
What more could possibly be done. Nobody from the residents association
or the community police forum were is evidence (unless they arrived
after I left, in which case my sincere apology!) But I am sure
that by Wednesday morning some folks were sitting on their ‘stoeps’,
in the coffee shops or steadfastly walking the aisles of OK or
Checkers - bemoaning the state of criminality and wondering out
loud where and what the police were up to – “because
they are certainly not doing their jobs properly!”
In an earlier edition of the Natter, I decried the state of some
of the buildings along the Main Street of Napier and mentioned
some by name, like Wilma Court. Well, Wilma Court has had a complete
make over and looks beautiful and is now certainly an asset to
the town (I do not for a moment claim it’s because of the
Natter article – it’s just nice to see changes for
the better) Well done Wilma Court! Now, about Napier Bande……!
…and so we see the end of another Patafees weekend. Successful?
Well, why not attend the meeting - this time being held at the
Napier Retirement Village (see details below) where this will
be discussed is some detail.
Hear ye..hear ye!!
The final open meeting of the Patatfees will be held at the Napier
Retirement Village on Wednesday afternoon, 27 June. Time 17H00.
The winner of the scarecrow competition will also be announced.
In a bad Moo….d
It has come to the attention of the Natter that there is a hungry
thief operating in our little village – quite possibly en
route to or from Durban. We know this as the said thief seems
to have a fondness for curry. How do we know this? Well the said
thief has kidnapped Bella, the docile cow who resides outside
of “The Cow ‘n Bell” gift shop next to Gunners
– and is demanding a ransom of – yes, you guessed
it – CURRY! The greatest gift you can give is any information
leading to the return of Bella. So curry up – I mean hurry
up and pass along any info you may have to the Natter. --- Click here to open the Wanted poster (pdf)
The Good and the Bad!! Reader’s
Just to let u know that the Napier Police are
doing the job very well. Just after 2 am this morning
they caught the two people that tried to break in down
in River Street. Well done Napier Police and Thanks for
such fast response
Welcome to Napier, please blow here
Before I even start this rant, I need to concede that I do not
have a legal leg to stand on and that drinking and driving is
not to be condoned. It is however with a bitter taste in my mouth
that I learned that our proud men in blue, not sure if it was
Cape Aguhlas traffic, or provincial or police or all of the above,
decided that they would welcome our Patatfees visitors with a
breathalyser test on Friday night. According to my sources every
single driver was stopped and asked to do a breathalyzer test
leaving Napier for Bredasdorp on Friday night. Again, I agree
we do not want drunk drivers on our roads, but there is a huge
difference between being drunk and being over the limit to start
with, and secondly the manner in which this roadblock was handled
is in my view tasteless and visitor unfriendly.
The wacky Wine festival for instance was informed by local authorities
that there will be road blocks and as a result visitors where
informed well in advance via the radio and other media that a
designated driver should be appointed, the aim after all is surely
not to try and catch people out, but to keep our roads safe? so
what harm does it do to tell people you will have a road block
and they will be tested (prevention is better than cure) If festival
goers and restaurant owners where pre-warned that there will be
a roadblock a taxi service could be arranged, or a designated
driver could be appointed. If you had two glasses of wine with
your dinner and then drove home on Friday night, chances are you
will be sitting in a jail cell in Bredasdorp now and your whole
life destroyed, not because you are drunk, or a danger on the
road, but because you would be just over the legal drinking limit.
In closing, an awareness campaign warning people about drinking
and driving as they enter town from Friday morning onwards would
have been much more visitor friendly. Our businesses rely heavily
upon this weekend for our survival and all our local authorities
can do is humiliate (even non drinkers) by arranging a massive
As a business owner in Napier, I am disappointed about the unfriendly
manner in which our guests have been treated and I hope that it
was worth the effort and local law enforcement quotas where at
least reached to make it a worthwhile exercise. I will be sure
to mention it to my customers next year that our local authorities
are unfriendly, sneaky and out to catch you so you best drink
tea the whole weekend!
Getting to the point
“I am looking for a person who can do acupuncture
Please contact Lettie at: 0731173786 or 0284233791 or
Help needed please.
Could we appeal to people to drop off their old newspapers at
Nuwerus Napier Nasorg We are going to be doing paper maché
bowls with the children during the holidays and since there are
usually more than 100 children during the holiday we need quite
a few newspapers.
Any wall-paper glue would also be welcome.
Update on the Marah Project
Supplying gift boxes to older people at Christmas time.
Thank you to all who have donated items with which to fill the
gift boxes. So far we have collected about 60 shoeboxes for our
Christmas project but more are still needed please. The task of
covering these boxes has begun. We are however in great need of
wrapping paper and ‘pretty things’ with which to decorate
these boxes eg. stickers, ribbon ,raffia, pictures, etc. So please
look through those cupboards and let us have what you don’t
We are also still collecting items to fill these boxes. Items
suited to men are specially needed eg. small packs of men’s
sized tissues, deodorant, socks, packets of seeds, pens, shaving
cream and razor, nail clippers, bed socks, photo frames, general
healing creams like Zambuk, small books of daily scripture readings,
hand towels, candles and small boxes of fruit juice. These are
but a few ideas. Later in the year we would like to add sweets,
chocolates and biscuits to the list
Should you be able to assist with donations, you are welcome to
please leave the items at Gunners or contact me on 028 423 3439
Food, glorious food!
Reneesance is having their 5th Peasant lunch on Sunday, 1 July.
As always the menu is bold, innovative and will blow your mind.
Contact Renee at 0825777041 for bookings.
Attached are photos of a young, very friendly male cat we found
this morning. Please could you assist in finding it's owner. We
already have four cats and really can't take on another. We will
keep him with us for a while until his owner is found though.
Rudi Riek 072 461 4042 --- Click for pic
This little guy has been popping in and out at our house since
He is a neutered Tom, about seven months old. He is very comfortable
around humans and our similar aged cats, so must come from a home
where he was cared for.
Regards David Jones Bootup Computer Centre CC Cell: 08 444 000
42 --- Click for pic
Once in a while you will stumble upon the truth but most of us
manage to pick ourselves up and hurry along as if nothing had
happened. - Winston Churchill
Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes
or friends.... Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts. - Henry
Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly.
The Last Laugh
The Washington Post publishes the winning
submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers
are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled
over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope
of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition
in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle
that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question
on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified
bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles
his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by
popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your
Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in
the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men