26 June 2012

Hello Napier

The Soapbox
The soapbox regularly gets me into trouble with one or more Napier residents and every morning when I open up my mail box I anticipate something akin to hate mail. I haven’t received anything quite as virulent as that yet - “strongly worded” at most - and perhaps in a way I’m almost a little disappointed.

“Why?” - you may ask! Well, firstly, because that would mean that at least someone is reading the Natter, and secondly and most importantly, the Soapbox is touching a raw nerve or two-always a good thing me thinks! So here we go…again. The good news this week is that Napier has no crime and policing problems! This became evident last Tuesday evening when only 4 people (two of whom were a couple) pitched up at the meeting at the community hall arranged by the police to discuss crime and policing issues and to receive feedback and suggestions from the public. Oh, I can almost hear the cry of “But I did not know about the meeting!” A special Natter was sent out, posters were put up at the public points, like the OK – and the usual load-speaker mounted on a police vehicle did the rounds, advertising the fact. What more could possibly be done. Nobody from the residents association or the community police forum were is evidence (unless they arrived after I left, in which case my sincere apology!) But I am sure that by Wednesday morning some folks were sitting on their ‘stoeps’, in the coffee shops or steadfastly walking the aisles of OK or Checkers - bemoaning the state of criminality and wondering out loud where and what the police were up to – “because they are certainly not doing their jobs properly!”

In an earlier edition of the Natter, I decried the state of some of the buildings along the Main Street of Napier and mentioned some by name, like Wilma Court. Well, Wilma Court has had a complete make over and looks beautiful and is now certainly an asset to the town (I do not for a moment claim it’s because of the Natter article – it’s just nice to see changes for the better) Well done Wilma Court! Now, about Napier Bande……!

…and so we see the end of another Patafees weekend. Successful? Well, why not attend the meeting - this time being held at the Napier Retirement Village (see details below) where this will be discussed is some detail.

Hear ye..hear ye!!
The final open meeting of the Patatfees will be held at the Napier Retirement Village on Wednesday afternoon, 27 June. Time 17H00. The winner of the scarecrow competition will also be announced.

In a bad Moo….d
It has come to the attention of the Natter that there is a hungry thief operating in our little village – quite possibly en route to or from Durban. We know this as the said thief seems to have a fondness for curry. How do we know this? Well the said thief has kidnapped Bella, the docile cow who resides outside of “The Cow ‘n Bell” gift shop next to Gunners – and is demanding a ransom of – yes, you guessed it – CURRY! The greatest gift you can give is any information leading to the return of Bella. So curry up – I mean hurry up and pass along any info you may have to the Natter. --- Click here to open the Wanted poster (pdf)

The Good and the Bad!! Reader’s responses.
Just to let u know that the Napier Police are doing the job very well. Just after 2 am this morning they caught the two people that tried to break in down in River Street. Well done Napier Police and Thanks for such fast response

Welcome to Napier, please blow here
Before I even start this rant, I need to concede that I do not have a legal leg to stand on and that drinking and driving is not to be condoned. It is however with a bitter taste in my mouth that I learned that our proud men in blue, not sure if it was Cape Aguhlas traffic, or provincial or police or all of the above, decided that they would welcome our Patatfees visitors with a breathalyser test on Friday night. According to my sources every single driver was stopped and asked to do a breathalyzer test leaving Napier for Bredasdorp on Friday night. Again, I agree we do not want drunk drivers on our roads, but there is a huge difference between being drunk and being over the limit to start with, and secondly the manner in which this roadblock was handled is in my view tasteless and visitor unfriendly.

The wacky Wine festival for instance was informed by local authorities that there will be road blocks and as a result visitors where informed well in advance via the radio and other media that a designated driver should be appointed, the aim after all is surely not to try and catch people out, but to keep our roads safe? so what harm does it do to tell people you will have a road block and they will be tested (prevention is better than cure) If festival goers and restaurant owners where pre-warned that there will be a roadblock a taxi service could be arranged, or a designated driver could be appointed. If you had two glasses of wine with your dinner and then drove home on Friday night, chances are you will be sitting in a jail cell in Bredasdorp now and your whole life destroyed, not because you are drunk, or a danger on the road, but because you would be just over the legal drinking limit.

In closing, an awareness campaign warning people about drinking and driving as they enter town from Friday morning onwards would have been much more visitor friendly. Our businesses rely heavily upon this weekend for our survival and all our local authorities can do is humiliate (even non drinkers) by arranging a massive road block.
As a business owner in Napier, I am disappointed about the unfriendly manner in which our guests have been treated and I hope that it was worth the effort and local law enforcement quotas where at least reached to make it a worthwhile exercise. I will be sure to mention it to my customers next year that our local authorities are unfriendly, sneaky and out to catch you so you best drink tea the whole weekend!
Rudi Riek

Getting to the point
“I am looking for a person who can do acupuncture healing.
Please contact Lettie at: 0731173786 or 0284233791 or lettievdm@telkomsa.net”

Help needed please.
Could we appeal to people to drop off their old newspapers at Nuwerus Napier Nasorg We are going to be doing paper maché bowls with the children during the holidays and since there are usually more than 100 children during the holiday we need quite a few newspapers.
Any wall-paper glue would also be welcome.

Update on the Marah Project
Supplying gift boxes to older people at Christmas time.
Thank you to all who have donated items with which to fill the gift boxes. So far we have collected about 60 shoeboxes for our Christmas project but more are still needed please. The task of covering these boxes has begun. We are however in great need of wrapping paper and ‘pretty things’ with which to decorate these boxes eg. stickers, ribbon ,raffia, pictures, etc. So please look through those cupboards and let us have what you don’t need anymore.

We are also still collecting items to fill these boxes. Items suited to men are specially needed eg. small packs of men’s sized tissues, deodorant, socks, packets of seeds, pens, shaving cream and razor, nail clippers, bed socks, photo frames, general healing creams like Zambuk, small books of daily scripture readings, hand towels, candles and small boxes of fruit juice. These are but a few ideas. Later in the year we would like to add sweets, chocolates and biscuits to the list

Should you be able to assist with donations, you are welcome to please leave the items at Gunners or contact me on 028 423 3439 for collection.
Sincere thanks

Food, glorious food!
Reneesance is having their 5th Peasant lunch on Sunday, 1 July. As always the menu is bold, innovative and will blow your mind. Contact Renee at 0825777041 for bookings.

Attached are photos of a young, very friendly male cat we found this morning. Please could you assist in finding it's owner. We already have four cats and really can't take on another. We will keep him with us for a while until his owner is found though.
Rudi Riek 072 461 4042 --- Click for pic

This little guy has been popping in and out at our house since last Sunday.
He is a neutered Tom, about seven months old. He is very comfortable around humans and our similar aged cats, so must come from a home where he was cared for.
Regards David Jones Bootup Computer Centre CC Cell: 08 444 000 42 --- Click for pic

SAARP Update
31 July 2012 at 11h00 – 14h00 (please take note of start time)
Team Warwick on Wills and estates
Presentation and time for taking instructions and advice

Monday 16 July 2012
Red Windmill morning – succulents, vintage and the labyrinth
R50 for lunch.

Thursday August 16th - The combined outing to Eagle’s Rest and Flora land Fynbos farm
Cost R60 per person including lunch.

Quotable Quotes
Once in a while you will stumble upon the truth but most of us manage to pick ourselves up and hurry along as if nothing had happened. - Winston Churchill

Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends.... Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts. - Henry David Thoreau

Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly. - Epictetus

The Last Laugh

The Washington Post publishes the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men


The Napier Natter appreciates your feedback, comments and idea's. Keep them coming.
Have a great week!

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